This is something I’d wanted to write for a very long time. On why crying is not so bad.
See, I’m always wary of people who smile on the outside but cry within themselves, never letting anyone know of their pain. I guess I can’t blame them, because they might be doing it for the reasons best known to them – some do not genuinely want to trouble others with their misery, while some are hesitent to reveal their personal problems. And then there are some who are worried of becoming lesser in others eyes, if they reveal their vulnerabilities.
But there are a fourth category of people, who do not cry even when they are alone. With no body watching them. I’m not saying that everyone has got something in their lives to cry about, but once in a blue moon something does happen that warrants an emotional outburst. Even in these cases, some people hold it all in and pent up the grief within themselves. And then suddenly, when they can’t hold it any longer, they burst and the tears overflow like a dam whose gates have been just opened. The grief gets multiplied, and this outburst is intense than what would have been if they had succumbed earlier. Crying is as much of an emotional release, the same way an orgasm is a sexual release.
My only advice is, don’t hold it in. Turn on the tap (or faucet, if you’re American) . Let the water fall. Let the river flow. Let it flow until you have no more tears left. It’s only then that you will be over your grief. When relief finally spreads across you. And you will feel a little less fragile. And a little more clear-headed.
And most important of all, talk to people, or just that one best friend of yours. There is nothing that cannot be made better by a supportive shoulder. Or a loving embrace.
And for God’s sake, do not consume alcohol to get over your grief. As someone said, “When you drink to forget pain, all you do is borrow a little happiness from tomorrow.” There are better ways to heal yourself, and drinking is just an escapist job. It won’t solve anything.
P.S. I do not recommend crying over every little thing. I know there are people who this as well, and I’m usally not very chuffed about this. You do not want to be a sob story, all you need to be is real.
Sheldon gets it right 😛